i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
