I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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