how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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