we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
