You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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