Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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