summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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