how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Dicks are not precious.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
