I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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