I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
