You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
