I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
