I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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