i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's never too late to be topless.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
