What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
