I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
