ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
