At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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