i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
