My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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