I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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