i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
