Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
