Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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