Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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