Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
