i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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