dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
