the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Randomize
