Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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