Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
