I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
