on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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