There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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