ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
