i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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