Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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