apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
