one might say we're banned from that church
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
