Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
