I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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