I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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