i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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