What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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