i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
MIDGETS
????
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
