im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
