Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
