see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
