What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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