you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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