i need an iv and a liver transplant
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
