do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
