Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
