My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
my liver is dry heaving
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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