Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Are my feet made of real feet?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
