ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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