I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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