Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
