Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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