I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
