maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
