haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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