No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize