listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
how does that bad decision feel?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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