I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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