her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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