; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize