May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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