bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
