the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
do herpes really smell.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
