I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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