he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
