You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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